restless night

I'm not going to be doing any sleeping tonight.

I made the mistake of going to a hay maze with my roommates and some friends in the dark. For those who don't know me directly, I'm one of the jumpiest people you will ever meet. It's not my fault. I had brothers who had far too much fun with me when I was little.

Then after that trial, the guys wanted to watch a scary movie. Insidious... NOT recommended.

So now Alyssa and I are laying in our beds with our christmas lights on and Disney music. Mostly to calm our fears... but also because we're going to Disneyland in 6 days!!!!

Thanks to the genius of my older sisters and my mother, I have the coolest Mary Poppins costume. No photos until the joyous occasion though.

So have good dreams about that!

holly's horrible no-good rotten day

Today has been horrible.

I woke up this morning from a very much unwanted text message that put me in an upsetting mood the whole and only increased later on that evening.

I needed to do laundry and be productive, but then I washed all my jeans at the same time, so I had no pants. Therefore my productiveness was delayed until the dryer was done. I hate that. Productivity is a rare mood to be in.

I had to go to the post office to find a package I sent that FedEx lost. Only to find out that they called some stranger and delivered the package to a different address. Now it's going to take me days to find it.

While at the post office, I locked my keys and my wallet inside the car. I don't have an extra set of keys and my AAA card is in my wallet... in the car. After contacting AAA, they sent someone over... 45 minutes later, after freezing out in the freaking early October snow, they arrived and it took 10 minutes to get my car to start because the engine was too cold and I was low on gas.

I abandoned my other errands I had planned to do and just went home. I couldn't feel the lower half of my body, both hands, or my upper lip. So I just got in to bed and laid there pitifully. My roommate and her overly amorous boyfriend were in the living room, and I kid you not, I could hear suction cups. So that was not awesome, further reminding me of the text I awoke to.

I hardly ate anything. It's funny how self-loathing can really take away your appetite. But now it's 12:08 am and I'm starving.

I give up. I'm going to bed. If tomorrow isn't better? Then I'm staying in bed.

ambitions

I don't know why but the word ambition always makes me think of the word 'amphibians', which means frogs, and this post is nothing about frogs.

I used to be a big list writer. I make lists almost every day. Things I needed to remember, things to do, things I'd like to do, things that I like, things that I love, just random stuff.

Today I've been making a list of things in my head that I'd like to improve on, so I just wanted to write them down before I forgot:

• improve my manual skills with photography
• practice my french more (read books and watch films in french)
• go to the library more often
• run three miles in 15 mins
• learn more songs on my ukulele
• learn more chords on my guitar
• go through my Facebook and cleanse my friends list (not to be a jerk, but sometimes you realize that there are people that you really don't need to keep in contact with)
• make a new 5 year plan
• figure a plan to graduate within the next on coming year
• create a formal resume and portfolio

These are all short-term ambitions obviously, just stuff I aspire to get done soon. I think they're all reasonable, if not easy.

fact

The perfect cure for a headache, stomach ache, body pains, and/or extreme crankiness is a warm shower in the dark.

Today I was a beast. It was one of those days where I was having an ok day, got kind of tired, so I decided to take a 50 min nap. Well instead of waking up refreshed, I woke up feeling like a steroid-overdosed viking. Needless to say, I was a beast. Which was proven by the instance where I physically and violently shoved my roommate's boyfriend out of the apartment and slammed the door in his face for jumping out at me and scaring me half to death... it was a reflex?

I haven't gotten any homework done and I feel just as nasty. So I throw my flag in the air. I give up. I'm going to bed, I'll try again in the morning.

But really, the shower helped.

homework... it has begun

I'm freaking out. I have so much to do now and school has only just started a week ago.

I've already got three pots due tomorrow for my ceramics class and four photos for my Color Photography class. Not to mention a TON of reading for my History of Photography and Art History classes, and those baby's never contain easy or short reading.

So I'm checking my list off of things I need to get done. But I did just finish my color photos. They're kind of bland and I'm sure I'll look back on them tomorrow and think "what the heck were you thinking?!". We'll find out tomorrow...

strange feelings

I'm a little weird.

There are a certain sensations that I cannot handle. Such as:

Vibrating on my elbows- you know when your phone is on the table and you're leaning on the table with someone or yourself gets a text? It gives me the heebie-jeebies (how do you spell that? you never see it enough)

Poking in the stomach- I am NOT the Pillsbury Dough Girl. Do not touch me there. Gross

Someone's hands on my face- who knows what they've touched or the last time they washed their hands!

Touching the guts of a tomato- it has so many consistencies in one vegetable!

Stepping in water while wearing socks- no need to explain. If you don't hate this, then you're not human

Wearing a sweaty bra- ok, sorry but it's true. Women sweat there! Working out or whatever. It's extremely uncomfortable and an extremely awkward sensation

This is a weird post. I've been in a REALLY weird mood the last couple of days. My new apartment with my roommates are all crazy, awkward, and nerdy. We've been geeking out the last few days, so I've got this constantly-freaking-out energy going on. Anyways, I've been experiencing some of these unpleasant sensations today (not the sweaty bra, which is natural, but still gross...) so I just thought you'd agree. These feel weird.

fact

I feel like this when I think about:

packing

moving

having to do homework again

rexburg

flying

last minute errands that I always forget

stupid mistakes I've made

dumb comments that came out wrong

having to say goodbye for a while

having to be an adult

spending money

not having money

not being able to go to Disneyland any time I want

going to the dentist

going back to school with very few friends

everyone getting married (?!)

showers (I know this sounds gross, but I'm getting tired of showering. It takes too much time and I have way too much hair now. Plus then I have to blow dry it and then I'm all hot and sweaty again... I just can't win)

and cats... I really don't like cats

school is for smarty pants

I'm all signed up for classes!! It was WAY easy and fast too. I'm pretty excited about it. Usually it takes forever because of how quickly the classes fill up and everyone is online trying to get their classes so the connection gets really slow.

But here is my new regime:

Preparation for an Eternal Marriage (This is a church school, so I am required to take one religious course per semester. I don't really mind, they're always really interesting. And this particular class will bring a lot of snickers and giggles when I get to laugh at all the baby-brides who think they know all about marriage at age 19): monday/wednesday

History of Photography: monday/wednesday

Color Photography: tuesday/thursday

Ceramics: tuesday/thursday

Art History I: tuesday/thursday

Art Seminar: one thursday every month

So obviously tuesdays and thursdays are going to be my craziest days, but I'm really excited that I'm now getting to the point where I can start taking classes that focus specifically towards my major now. Although I'm a little sad that I won't be taking any photography classes with M. or T. But I'm sure we'll still have lots of time to hang out and go shooting (cameras not guns). And I have no school on fridays!! Woop woop!!

catch-up

Things have been NUTS. So here's a brief synopsis of the craziness:

-I moved. Thank goodness I escaped the clepto and difficult roommates. Now I'm living with Steph and Kelsi from next door. They're awesome and we're having an amazing time.

-Sooooo... just like people predicted. I met a boy at Disneyland. He's my boyfriend and he loves Star Wars. :D

-Mother's Day without my Mother :(

-The Pirates 4 Premier happened. It was crazy busy. Although I was not working during it, I did hear the crazy screams. Steph was working on the black carpet (she TOUCHED Johnny Depp!) and I got to try on her costume! Haha

I even had the socks on!!!

Yes, this is Ashley Tisdale, but if you look at her right hip, close to the guy in the grey sweatshirt... That's Steph!! With the straw hat hanging on her back.

-The Man and I went to Universal Studios, where I conquered my fear of the Jurassic Park ride.

-I got my one year pin!! I have officially been working for Disney for 1 Year!

-My best friend and Disney girls came to see me and we played for a couple days! (pictures will be posted)

-M and B got married!!

-School is DONE! (Until September...)

-I still love working at Disneyland (I guess that's not really a big change...)

photo thoughts

I am going to do this in my home

meet my parents

I swear my parents were Sonny and Cher look-a-likes in high school. My mother was a tall, skinny, babe with long straight black hair. And my dad just had a lot of hair haha.

Don't you just want to chase them?!

I miss my long monogomous drives to and from Utah

I NEED this swim suit! I've been searching every where for a high-wasted vintage bikini

Truth.

Also still craving my solo roadtrips

And the black room on campus. Good times spent there. Glenn...

I would suffer through camping if I could camp in this. Looks like a giant tea-cozy

last day of finals!

First I woke up at the unholy hour of 5 am to get a head-start on my very. last. final. Due today and I have work so it has to be done.

And I walked to my Starbucks around the corner. It was completely void of all people and cars. The sky was grey and starting to light up and there were birds singing. My life is a Disney movie.

I kind of love California. I love the smell of Jasmine in the morning and I kind of love how it doesn't go through seasonal change like the rest of the world (sorry Rexburg).

When I got to Starbucks, my friend Alex (barrista) said good morning and already got started on my drink without even asking me what I wanted because she already knew. Wayne the Champion was already in his corner getting started on his daily work of Solitatire. And now I'm sitting here with my old fashioned dough nut and my warm drink watching as the sun lights up the palm trees across the parking lot. I freaking love palm trees. I can't get over it.

Today is my last day of finals.

i'm not here

Let me explain something... I have learned the true meaning to the term "exhausted".

I am so tired all day long. My eyes feel swollen all the time. My jaw is in a constant state of of slack. Every time I sit down, all the blood moves to my legs. And the only energy I have in my body seems to go straight to the twitch that has developed in my right eye. And if that wasn't annoying enough, every time I try to hold down the eye to keep from twitching, the twitch travels to the tip of my nose.

I'm not just sleep deprived. I'm exhausted of all energy and time.

I spend all my time at work. Spring break has started so they're giving me hours that keep me from being able to do homework. And then homework takes all the time for relaxing or even sleeping.

I haven't been blogging because I haven't had time to come to Starbucks to do homework. And when I did, it was strictly for homework. Which is struggling.

I'm sorry and I miss it, but my blogging is slow. It's going to be slow for the next four weeks until school is over and work isn't my only 1st priority. And I'm serious when I say that there can be more than one 1st priorities... and sleep isn't one of them right now.

I'm still here... but for the time being until I can actually be here, I won't be... here -- I'm so tired that, that made sense to me but not when I typed it out.

I've been listening to a lot of Beatles... And this is a still from my favorite movie HELP!... it keeps me going for the time being

this is my school.

It's pretty cool. But really it just says that my school is just full of desperate people, and in all honesty, I don't know where all these people came from because I never see that many people on campus at one given time. But two of my FHE brothers are in it!

Click on the video and go to the YouTube site to see the whole thing. I don't know why blogspot cut it off

Christmas Time is Here Again! (Beatles Christmas song... look it up)

My clean checks are done and I'm loading up the final stuff in my car. I'm not going to be able to post for a couple days while I'm traveling so don't miss me too much, I'll be back.

But before I leave this fair state of Idaho for the next 9 months (?!) I just had to post this picture because I will never get a real tree after seeing this....

Feelin' Bad to the Bone!

Remember my sweet tiger tattoo? Oh yeah...

Well it was the end of the semester and tonight is our last night together, so Allison and I went crazy. She made this crazy awesome underwater design and it completely covers most of my left arm.

It's freaking sweet and I love the art of it all and the design, but I could never have this permanently. But still, this is freaking AWESOME!! I'm going to see how long I can keep it.

And because Allison is awesome and knows me well, there are two hidden (one not so hidden) Disney characters on it... Ariel and Nemo

Packing SUCKS

I hate HATE packing...

Every four months I tell myself, "I'll have everything organized", "This time I'll get rid of a ton of stuff" or "It will only take me a couple of hours". And every time I amaze myself with my own stupidity.

I hate everything there is about packing. Everything.

I start off organized and neat, but eventually I completely lose my patience and everything just ends up in random boxes with no idea behind it. I don't care anymore, just get in that freaking box!

I hate moving every four months. I am so sick of it. I don't necessarily feel the need to get married right away because I still have loads of stuff I want to do with my life. But PLEASE for the love of Walt Disney, I just want to settle down and not have to panic about in which box or storage unit my crap is in?!

*sigh* I'm almost done. And now I have to clean. Maybe I'd feel better if I could pack everything into one of these beauties

Allison + Holly = Awesome!

So my roommate Allison and I were going to perform this at the Ward Tallent show... We did but I messed us up horribly because I don't sing in public. So this post is actually for my mother who wanted it recorded. So this is the non-laughing/ non-embarrassing version.

Disclaimer: I am in no way a vocal performer. Nor will I ever be and nor to I strive to be. But it didn't make sense unless one of us sang. Please be gentle.

Also: Allison would like me to add that she does not in fact have a Muppet nose. the lighting in the practice rooms are horrible!

Roommates

Allison- "You guys, all my life I have desired to be a ninja"

Lauren- "And then all my savings were gone. Vanished. Gandhi."

Believe it or not, this all just took place in the same conversation, and it was serious

Ca-razy Day

Oh my business... today has been SO weird. I had a monster of a final project due today for Graphic Design (PRAISE the Lord it is OVER!). But of course, last night everything that could go wrong DID go wrong. So I ended up not sleeping... at all.

With a little help from my friend Mavrick (which if you are lucky enough not to live in Idaho, is a nasty gas station-cousin to 7-11), I was able to keep myself awake enough to finish my project to the best of my ability and go on to class.

The only problem with this situation was the fact that I cannot function sleep-deprived. I was freaking EVERYWHERE! I felt like my entire body was vibrating. I had all this crazy energy that I literally felt like I was going to explode. Funny thing about all nighters- you tend to completely lose hearing, because suddenly everyone's looking at you weird and you're talking REALLY LOUD. You're volume is completely broken. And then your eyes go on automatic. It's like "ok, you haven't closed us for a while, so we're gonna stop focusing". And then you just look stoned because you can't see unless you open your eyes to the maximum aperture (like the photography reference? :D). But it doesn't stop there, pretty soon you're running on pure adrenalin. You just kind of follow the crowd. At one point I almost got into a friends car not realizing what the freak I was doing until he reminded me that I live right across the street from the parking lot where his car was parked. So I walked home, laughing hysterically by myself at my mistake. By the time I made it home, it was on full-force. I knew I needed to go to bed but I felt like I had enough energy to get stuff done, so I kept going! Which was a dumb idea, it wasn't until I realized that I lost the ability to think to myself, and I was talking out loud like some crazed mental patient, that my roommate shoved me into my bedroom. I laid down and ---- OUT!

And then I woke up... and I felt like the living dead's reject. I couldn't pick up my feet. My eyes were bloodshot and I'm pretty sure I was slurring worse than I did before I went into a coma. But no worries. I traded in my friend Maverick for Starbucks... Which by the way is the perfect name, it's like they sell cups of glorious tasting stars for a couple of bucks. Well done. Fantastic company, brilliant drinks, and intellectual conversations about swearing in Utah, brawls at PF Changs (or Princess Floozy Changs as my mother says... we didn't know what the PF stands for so we got creative. That woman is brilliant), every man's man Glenn, and Camel toes (please don't ask me to explain). Three photography students + one awesome Brittany= strangest conversations to over-hear.

There Mark. I did it.

Starbucks tomorrow as well. Too excited.

I felt like this was appropriate. Pippin is tired -> I was tired -> I miss Pippin. BOOM!

This Graphic Design Project is stressing me out

Basically one of the teachers told me it's crap. So I'm rethinking a lot right now. This helps a lot... and it's cool to watch

Rethink Scholarship at Langara 2010 Call for Entries from Langara College on Vimeo.