i am useless

I am so excited. I literally can't do anything. I am useless.

I feel like a little kid still. I lay in bed planning all the things I'm going to do. I imagine the sights and smells (waffle cones of Mainstreet). Last night I tried on my costume with all of the pieces together. Seriously. It's BOMB!

My suitcase is almost fully packed. For the last three weeks, we have been counting down the days and now there is only two.

Bahhhhh!! I'm freaking out!

3 days!!!

I finally got all of the components of my costume together. And I've already started packing.

But I can't wait!! I'm freaking out daily. The Halloween fireworks, the special World of Color, the decorations, the party, the costumes, and my friends!! I can't wait to go back and see everyone from work. 

I love my job and I miss it every day!

restless night

I'm not going to be doing any sleeping tonight.

I made the mistake of going to a hay maze with my roommates and some friends in the dark. For those who don't know me directly, I'm one of the jumpiest people you will ever meet. It's not my fault. I had brothers who had far too much fun with me when I was little.

Then after that trial, the guys wanted to watch a scary movie. Insidious... NOT recommended.

So now Alyssa and I are laying in our beds with our christmas lights on and Disney music. Mostly to calm our fears... but also because we're going to Disneyland in 6 days!!!!

Thanks to the genius of my older sisters and my mother, I have the coolest Mary Poppins costume. No photos until the joyous occasion though.

So have good dreams about that!

photo thoughts

I love vintage engagement rings. I think this is very classic and stunning

Someone told me I looked just like this photo of Cher. I think she looks just like my mother in high school. I take it as a compliment.

This is absolutely amazing. If I could somehow mold this ring with the previous vintage ring, then this would be my perfect ideal ring.

I'm going to do this. With crayons and an embossing gun

I also really love this cut

I'm obsessed with lace dresses right now

Heh, awwwww

good news

I lost 10 lbs in less than a month!

This is big news for me. I am not a skinny girl. Instead, I am a curvy woman. It's partially my pal, gene's fault. I was born to birth big headed babies, so my hips would put Shakira's to trial.

I haven't been doing anything unnatural either. I hate the idea of diets, after being in dance for a good part of my life and being obsessed with the ballerina lifestyle, I've seen too many horrible outcomes of unhealthy dieting.

Diet. I freaking hate that word. I feel like it has become a nickname for "hating my body, so instead I'm going to destroy it with unhealthy habit-forming techniques".

I love my body. I've got these crazy awesome hips and I'm strangely flexible. I've got amazing dark hair and I like how when I smile my eyes turn into these almost asian half-moon smiles from my Native American Granddad.

But I've decided that if I like my body so much, and I want to keep it for longer, I'd better focus on the long term.

I started this "eating plan" (see what I did there?) with increased protein, vitamins twice a day to compensate for any nutrients that I might be missing out on, cutting out all starches, gluten, and natural sugars. Basically what I'm doing is resetting my hypothalamus (which is the part in your body that decides where to take it's energy) without a drastic cutting-down of calories. I'm teaching my body to take energy from the saved up storage in the body's fat, as opposed to the food I'm taking in.

It can be a little exhausting sometimes because you're body doesn't quite get the memo of where the energy is the first week or so, but afterwards, you gain your energy back and you notice that you're not as starving all the time.

It's completely healthy and I'm not starving my body of anything that it didn't get before. Well, except for maybe guilt and self-conciousness... That's right. I'm feeling pretty hott.

holly's horrible no-good rotten day

Today has been horrible.

I woke up this morning from a very much unwanted text message that put me in an upsetting mood the whole and only increased later on that evening.

I needed to do laundry and be productive, but then I washed all my jeans at the same time, so I had no pants. Therefore my productiveness was delayed until the dryer was done. I hate that. Productivity is a rare mood to be in.

I had to go to the post office to find a package I sent that FedEx lost. Only to find out that they called some stranger and delivered the package to a different address. Now it's going to take me days to find it.

While at the post office, I locked my keys and my wallet inside the car. I don't have an extra set of keys and my AAA card is in my wallet... in the car. After contacting AAA, they sent someone over... 45 minutes later, after freezing out in the freaking early October snow, they arrived and it took 10 minutes to get my car to start because the engine was too cold and I was low on gas.

I abandoned my other errands I had planned to do and just went home. I couldn't feel the lower half of my body, both hands, or my upper lip. So I just got in to bed and laid there pitifully. My roommate and her overly amorous boyfriend were in the living room, and I kid you not, I could hear suction cups. So that was not awesome, further reminding me of the text I awoke to.

I hardly ate anything. It's funny how self-loathing can really take away your appetite. But now it's 12:08 am and I'm starving.

I give up. I'm going to bed. If tomorrow isn't better? Then I'm staying in bed.

photo thoughts

Ha! Pop culture... you're the best

Disney is real life

Precious

Awwww

Heh, he's smiling

look-a-likes

I have a fabulous friend down in California, and he gave me the greatest compliment I have ever heard. He said that I look like the love-child of Ava Gardner and Myrna Loy. It's weird, but Myrna Loy totally has my nose and Ava is just fabulous.

I can see the resemblance. I'm totally kidding.

Ava Gardner

Myrna Loy

la famille de mon pere

This is a little family photo I found of my Dad when he was growing up... he's the goon in the red tie, in the front row.

I love this photo because they are perfectly in center. My grandpa probably took it and he was always very meticulous. I love the harsh light of day and how it totally drabs everyone out in this photo. 

You can just tell that it's one of those photos that no one wanted to be in, but my adorable Aunt Tracy (the young girl in the front) smiles on in the front row next to the goober that is my Uncle Alan and my Aunt Penny (the stunning one in the red dress) looks totally glamourous as usual.

But I kind of like them all. I guess I'll keep them around.

photo thoughts

These have been piling up on my desktop, so I needed to clean house...

Waldorf and Statler

Ok, I think I could love this kitten

I liked trying to figure out who these people were. I got most of them

I knew I loved him

I plan on doing this, although I don't own any orange books

My future child

Ohmygosh... those ears

"Quick! Hide the books!"

I don't know which is more attractive, him or the camera?

Well, he is, that's for sure

Love the bikini